My neighbor and good friend, Tommy, asked me to join him at his Aunt Becky’s for Thanksgiving this year. The moment we pulled into the gravel drive of his Aunt Becky’s house, he informed me that he had told the entire family that I was his new Christian girlfriend, home with him on the holidays. Before I had a chance to curse him out, he swore to buy me the black Christmas cocktail dress I couldn’t afford from Macy’s when we were back at school in Atlanta.
Tommy had told me about his family pretty soon after we’d met. He grew up going to a country church where, during the services, the women can’t talk and must wear head coverings (he said it’s like wearing doilies on their heads). He explained it to me once and I think it had something to do with glorious hair and confused angels.
“Oh, and just move your lips if you don’t know the words to the prayers or hymns,” he said.
And with no chance to protest, I plastered my best ‘I’m so glad to finally meet you’ smile across my face as his mom, dad, Aunt Becky and various cousins (first, second and third) pummeled the car. Tommy took hold of my hand as we came around the car to see the family.
* * *
I spent the next hour outside with the kids, expecting them to be less inquisitive than the rest of the family. Damn, there were so many kids (also first, second and third cousins). His Aunt Becky had a huge yard with lots of surrounding property. There was even a small playground with a swing set, sandbox, slide, and climbing jungle gym. A lot of the younger kids were playing there. A few older kids were playing a makeshift game of baseball, although the kids in the ‘outfield’ traded sides constantly to get up to bat. Two teenage girls were on cell phones, sitting on a bench under a giant oak off to the side of the main yard, and there were three young boys just running in circles with each other, screaming.
I sauntered over to the ball game for a while and tried my ‘cool new friend’ act. Most of the kids just stared and some of them ran away from the game to go inside or to the sand box. I decided to go push some of the younger kids on the swing set. They were cuter anyway. Eventually some bigger kids came over to hang out, seeing that the younger ones weren’t that scared of me. After about twenty minutes of who are you’s, the clan became more comfortable with me.
Just as I was getting along great, thinking I could bypass hanging out with the grown-up portion of the family all together, the questions started: Are you Tommy’s girlfriend? Where’s Uncle Tommy? Are you guys dating? Have you kissed Tommy? My daddy said Uncle Tommy’s a gay. What’s a gay?
I had to get away.
* * *
I managed to slip away from the kids and into the house. I went in the front door via the huge wraparound porch. There was a little vestibule right as you entered, with shoes and coats piled high, so I added mine to the cluster where they blended in nicely. I saw that someone else had the same pair of brown slip-ons as me, and it gave me a sense of belonging. I got mine at Shoes Warehouse in Atlanta. I wondered where Tommy’s first, second, or third cousin had gotten hers.
The vestibule led into a great room with big, flowery furniture and the longest dining table I have ever seen. Even though the great room was big, the table was so long that one end butted up against a window in the far back end of the house and the other against the couch that separated the great room from the living room. I wondered how many leaves Aunt Becky had put in the table that morning, extending it one leaf at a time for each of the families.
There was a small sitting room off to my left packed full with a beautiful grand piano and stiff straight chairs with pillows to make them seem cozier. The room hummed with a couple of young girls and a couple of very old women, all sitting stiffly. There were various groups of men, young, old and in between sitting in the hallway beside, and one guy (he looked about my age) was playing the piano. I smiled to the group as I passed by towards the kitchen.
I noticed the steps to the second story behind the grand piano room and there were another two tables set up in the hallway there.
The house was set for feasting and many families. Everyone, and everything, was in its place.
I found my place, too, in the kitchen, and Tommy was there as well. A couple of guys and a lot of women were all moving around, preparing for dinner, laughing and talking. I could smell thick gravy, pumpkin spice, and coffee. I weaved through the crowds, smiling, introducing myself, interrupting laughter and picking up on the tail ends and the beginnings of conversations – I couldn’t quite find myself anywhere in the middle.
“Well, Rachel, really wanted to go to Mountain Top this summer as a counselor, but with swimming, piano and church camp it just didn’t work out.”
“… know that Josiah and Lauren are engaged, finally.”
“We’ve all just been waiting for that to happen…”
I thought about stopping with one group of women near a fold out card table piled with desserts, so that I could have a chance to hear a punch line and laugh too, but then I got nervous. I saw Tommy looking at me from across the room. He had a look of deep satisfaction and pride on his face as he saw me talking to his family and getting along great. I decided to go stand with him.
Once I was with Tommy, some of the guys gave him the elbow in the ribs with a nod of satisfaction, approving of yours truly. This prompted Tommy to glaze over and smile and nod and I guess the lie made him uncomfortable. But most of the guys were very nice and eager to know more about me and how Tommy and I met. That was easy enough to answer, no lies, we both knew how that really happened.
* * *
Right before dinner was served, one of the older men asked everyone to join in singing Creation’s Lord, We Give Thee Thanks. I remembered how Tommy told me just to move my lips if I didn’t know the words, so I did. I did sing God, Jesus, and blessed aloud, but it came out sounding like od, esus, and essed since it always took me a second to register the words the family was singing.
By the end of the song, I got past the point of feeling uncomfortable, and enjoyed the sweet sound the assembly made.
Tommy knew all the words to the hymn and sung them beautifully. I didn’t realize he had such a voice, but he’s not one to brag.
During the hymn, he put his hand on the small of my back so that I wouldn’t feel uncomfortable, I guess. Then the same older gentleman asked one of the younger men to pray, and he did, and then everyone gathered ‘round the counters in the kitchen to fill their plates.
* * *
Tommy and I ate dinner at the long table with the grownups. I tried to count the number of leaves, but couldn’t see all of the way to the other end. The two tables in the hallway were for the kids, although half of them hardly made it inside for dinner at all.
His family all were very polite, and seemed truly interested in getting to know me and in welcoming me to the family. Tommy looked stiff and spacey throughout the entire meal. I wanted to tell them all he was gay, but instead I attempted to build a family tree in my head in order to connect all the cousins.
I hit a dead end when no one would talk about Uncle Jerry’s first wife’s kids (two of which were sitting at the other end of the table) and there were really too many to keep up with anyway.
After dessert, coffee and a nice period of digesting, Tommy suggested that we hit the road because I had to work early the next morning. He gave hugs all around and most of the women hugged me too, while the men shook our hands.
* * *
As we were driving home, both of us quiet and dreamy because of the huge meal we’d just finished, I noticed a black stain that hadn’t been there before on the toe of one brown slip-on.
I wondered if it was a first, second or third cousin that had my pair.