I have to tell Noelle. I don’t know how, but I will.
Grant slammed his locker shut and headed to the pool. It felt so good to finally put his books away and let go of the stress of the last few days. It was especially therapeutic to swim on January afternoons like this one, when the world outside was all cold and crunchy. All Grant had to do was slip into his suit, grab his goggles and go. In the water, even when he was working his ass off, problems just floated away.
Ten laps of freestyle started to loosen him up. Ten laps of breaststroke and he didn’t care that he still had to figure out what his English project would be about. Ten laps of backstroke and the chem labs he forgot to turn in were gone. And there was nothing ten laps of the butterfly couldn’t conquer, not even the disaster of the past Friday. And the conversation he needed have with his best friend because of it.
The stress washed away, at least while he was in the pool. Once he climbed out, showered, and checked his phone, it all came crashing back.
He hadn’t checked his phone all day, so the first text was from his mother around lunchtime.
MOM (11:46): Ms. Manfredi called. Why didn’t u turn in ur homework? Tlaking tonight. Hint: it’s not going to go well.
With a shake of his head and a grin, he ignored his mom’s text. He’d deal with that… after. With any luck she’d get home late, he’d be in bed, and he could successfully avoid her until tomorrow. One uncomfortable conversation a day was about all he could handle. He sighed and checked the others.
NOELLE: BBT Marathon continued, my living room, 3pm.
It was already past four o’clock.
NOELLE (3:15): Where are you??! We got out of school an hour ago!!
NOELLE (3:32): Did you fall in the pool again to forget life? You know it doesn’t work that way, even though you rock the backstroke. Text me when you’re done. The dvd player awaits.
NOELLE (3:59): Srsly. New acronym: GOOTP = Get Out Of The Pool! You’ve swum the English Channel. You’re buff. And we’ve got many episodes to go!!!
Grant shot Noelle a quick text, letting let her know he was on his way. He headed towards the parking lot.
He was grateful Noelle was not only still talking to him after this weekend, but still her awesome self.
~*~
“It’s about damn time, Waverly. Penny and the boys are waiting for us,” Noelle greeted Grant at her front door in her usual brisk manner, already walking away from him while she was talking. “Pull up a piece of couch and we’ll get this party started.”
She had tunnel vision when she wanted something, whether it was keeping up her perfect GPA, getting early admissions to Vassar for music, or watching every season of her favorite TV show.
Grant followed Noelle into the living room and perched on the end of the long brown paisley sofa. The Big Bang Theory‘s menu screen waited for them to make a selection.
Noelle, all business, sat in the middle of the couch and aimed the remote with incredible seriousness at the TV.
“Noelle, hang on. We have to talk.”
“Oh, the kiss of death phrase. Awesome,” she paused the DVD but stared ahead at the frozen TV screen.
Grant turned to face her, studying her profile. Tiny brown nose, full pink lips, bright green eyes, a mass of curly black hair that just grazed her shoulders. Beautiful. She’d been his best friend for twelve years, since they met in kindergarten and she rammed his Lego car with her Fisher Price airplane.
“‘Emergenthee landing,” she lisped and helped him put his car back together before taking off again.
Now she was seventeen, the lisp was gone, but last weekend she rammed her face into his at the Dalton Cineplex 16 when they went to see Catching Fire for the seventh time.
“So. Friday,” he started, tentative and unsure how to tell her what he’d realized. “I feel like I should explain…”
“Explain what? I tried to kiss you. You weren’t into it. In fact, it made you sick,” Noelle replied, trying to sound nonchalant but the last sentence made her wince.
Grant remembered stumbling out of the theatre to the bathroom and hoped it wasn’t replaying for his best friend yet again. They hadn’t talked about it since he came back from the men’s room looking peaked. She’d had her piano lessons, ballet recital, and babysitting to keep her busy and he had to two lifeguard shifts and a swim meet. It was the longest three days of his life, not talking to her.
“It didn’t make me sick,” Grant assured her. “It just… surprised me.”
Noelle spun to look at him. “Surprised you? You left the theatre to go throw up!”
He could see the tears welling up in her emerald eyes.
“I didn’t throw up. I was just shaken up. I don’t want to… do that with you.” Even before he was finished, Grant knew it wasn’t the right way to put it, but he didn’t know how else to say it.
Noelle twitched as though his words had hit her in the face.
“So who do you want to do it with?” she fired back.
“No… I don’t…” Grant stammered. This wasn’t going well.
“Jocelyn Turner? She’s hot, right? Long blond hair, those blue eyes. Everyone in our class wants her. Or maybe Lakshmi Keshyap? I don’t even know how she went from looking like a twelve year old boy to an Indian goddess in just one year, but everyone seems to be crushing all over her for it. Hell, I had a crush on her earlier this year. But you knew that. Because I tell you these things. Is there something you need to tell me, Grant?”
He took a deep breath before answering. “Yes.”
“Holy shit, my sister was right. You are gay. Aren’t you?”
“Uh, no,” Grant said. “Hannah thinks I’m gay? Weird. But, no! Never mind. I like you, Noelle. I like you a lot.”
“But..?” Noelle gestured, circling her hand for him to give her the rest. She always knew when there was more with him.
“I like you, but I don’t want to be… physical with you,” Grant said quickly and head hung.
Noelle stared for a few beats.
Then she let out an exasperated sigh. “This isn’t going any of the million ways I imagined. You being gay or just not into me were the front-runners. You say you like me, but you don’t want to be, what, physical? But you’re an atheist. You told me that last year.”
“I am, it’s true,” Grant said. “It’s not religious. I just don’t feel like I want to do that…”
“With me,” Noelle answered for him, her voice flat and sad.
“With anyone,” Grant corrected, his tone gentle.
He felt she had to understand. She had understood everything about him up until then.
“This might sound weird,” Grant said as he cautiously made contact, his hand on her shoulder, gently, casual. Normal for them. “But I want to date you. I think. I’d at least like to try. You’re the only person I want to spend as much time with as some of the guys on the swim team spend with their girlfriends. I just… I don’t think I’m built to be… physical. I think I might be asexual.”
Noelle looked up at him with her eyebrows knitted. He knew she was trying to make sense out of everything he’d finally been able to get out. She looked over at the TV for a second and then broke out into hysterical laughter.
Did I just break my best friend? Grant wondered.
“Oh, I just realized how perfect this is,” Noelle said through her laughter.
“What… what’s perfect?”
“I have my own Sheldon Cooper,” Noelle replied gleefully. “So you want me to be your Amy Farrah Fowler? Well, with musical genius as opposed to neurobiology, of course!”
Grant glanced over at the screen and chuckled.
“I guess that’s one way of putting it,” he said. “Although my mom would have probably preferred I had Sheldon’s chemistry or physics skills.
“Can I still snuggle when we watch TV?” Noelle looked like she was dying to take their typical Big Bang viewing position: her lying on her side, feet under Grant’s legs.
Grant smiled. He knew everything was going to be okay. She totally groks me.
As Noelle started their next episode, he said, “By the way, I hate to start our relationship off this way, but I’m probably going to be grounded for the rest of the week. Now, gimme your feet.”
ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Genalissa S. lives the gorgeous state of Mississippi and is exceptionally grateful for her family and friends. Her passions include singing, dancing, cuddling, theater, reading, writing, and driving. It is a distinct dream of hers to one day have tea and chocolate with Darren Criss, Crystal Bowersox, and RuPaul.