“Yeah, tonight is the night!” exclaimed Zach as he struggled to get his locker open.
“Seriously, I have waited like three weeks for this. No girl has ever made me wait like this, so it is payoff time. Dude, Nikki’s parents are gonna be out till like midnight!”
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Jordan quietly listened to his teammate ramble on and on about his latest soon-to-be conquest, managing to barely offer a smile as Zach provided graphic details of what he expected to happen tonight. A lot of details. More details than Jordan cared to hear about at 7:45 in the morning. As they parted ways, Zach headed to Algebra and Jordan to Honors Chemistry – the loud halls of West Allis High School slowly grew calmer in anticipation of the first bell of the day. Jordan was more than happy to get out of this sex infused conversation and settled into a seat in the back of Mr. Edward’s classroom.
With the discussion turning towards the six types of chemical reactions, Jordan smiled to himself as he thought about the flurry of dirty jokes that Zach would be offering if he were in this class. Even though they were best friends, their lives were vastly different. But since age 7 their bond was solid and there was no one in the world that knew Jordan the way that Zach did. Maybe it was their differences that drew them together. Maybe it was simply nine long years of history and shared secrets.
Jordan is in honors level classes whereas Zach barely made it through traditional classes. Jordan is soft spoken and Zach is the life of the party. Jordan is an only child and Zach has 3 older brothers and one younger sister. Jordan is a virgin and Zach is…well, he just isn’t. In fact, according to the stories that Zach has shared, his number of partners was actually approaching double digits.
Jordan is the child of William and Barb Sanders, who are both middle school teachers. Theirs is a quiet and almost bookish household, where great value is placed on education, honesty, and family cohesiveness. The Sanders tried for nearly a decade to have another child once Jordan was two years old, but they lost the battle of infertility. When he was about 6 years old, Jordan asked his mother why she wanted so desperately to have another child. Wasn’t he enough? Did she want a different kid, a better kid, a smarter kid, a back-up child? Barb Sanders choked back tears as she told her only child, “No, my angel. It is because I love you so very dearly and enjoy being your mommy so very much that daddy and I want to fill this house with even more love. But you….you are not just enough, you are perfect”.
Once Jordan became best friend with Zach in first grade, he enjoyed spending time at his house and imbedding himself into their noisy, loud and cramped home. It was such a departure from the peace of the Sanders house, with much fewer rules and organization. However, spending extended periods at Zach’s house, such as the long weekend when his parents went to an academic symposium at the University of Michigan, made Jordan appreciate his own quiet home all the more.
Jordan knew and appreciated from a very early age that his parents simply adored each other. Their marriage was based on a deep friendship that extended back to their own teen years, when they became best friends in 9th grade. Through the years they realized that they were not just friends, but they shared a deep and substantial love. It never occurred to them to date anyone else, since they embodied the concept of soul mates and never had eyes for anyone else. In fact, they set the bar for true love so high that Jordan was convinced that he would never replicate that sort of relationship in his lifetime.
By lunchtime, Zach was still rambling about his high expectations for an intense romantic interlude with Nikki this evening. Sitting at the table with 5 other members of the WAHS baseball team, they all chimed in their support for the hot evening that was in store for Zach. Regaling each other over pizza and chocolate milk with stories of their own sexual conquests, each guy at the table seemed to want to outdo each other. Carl talked about the time he hooked up at bible camp of all places. Quentin gave graphic details about the time he got lucky with his aunt’s neighbor in their pool. Even the usually reserved Drew chimed in with a story of a near-threesome while visiting his older brother at college.
Jordan smiled throughout the storytelling, weighing in with the occasional “Wow, cool” or “Sounds hot” between bites. But the truth of the matter was that Jordan did not think it was cool or hot. He found the descriptions just sort of…disconnected. Not close, not intimate, not loving. And he couldn’t help but wonder what was wrong with him. Why wasn’t he joining in with the tales? Better yet, why were all of his friends so sexually active while he felt left so far behind?
Jordan was still pondering his sexless status as the bell rang for fifth period. This meant Sociology and sitting next to the amazing Lauren. He had been thinking about asking out Lauren since he broke up with her friend Brianna about two months ago. Even though the two girls were not best friends or even close friends, he was sure that Brianna had told Lauren the dismal beginning, middle and end of their six-week pathetic romance. The awkward first kiss. Trying to feel her up during that movie. The weird make-out session after school one day, that ended up with Jordan realizing that Brianna had her eyes open the whole time. Even the end of the romance was bleak and perplexing, with Brianna texting him “Cant see u anymore. Sorry. Not into it. U r nice tho & we can be friends. See ya 2morrow on the bus. Luv ya!” Jordan recalls thinking to himself how incredibly odd it was to end a break-up message with a declaration of love. Ridiculous, in fact.
Walking into Sociology class, he smiled at Lauren as he sat next to her near the front of the class. There was no assigned seating in Mrs. Farrell’s class, but the two of them seemed to always end up next to each other and had even passed notes a few times in class. They had an easy and comfortable friendship. The kind of boy-girl friendship that occurred when it was clear that neither party was interested in a romantic relationship with the other, at least by appearances. No pressure, just friendship. They had been friends since early middle school, when they both had braces, glasses and acne. It was only recently that Jordan noticed that Lauren was not the same girl anymore and had actually developed into a really lovely young lady. Still, they were firmly in The Friend Zone. And because he was certain that Brianna had told Lauren about his failures as a Romeo, he was sure to stay in just that spot. Why would she want to date a clumsy virgin like him when she could be with Drew or Quentin or any other guy in the school?
After school Jordan met up with Zach in the parking lot to down a few snacks before baseball practice. Gobbling pretzels, the two friends continued their conversation from earlier today.
“I am so pumped, man” exclaimed Zach, “this thing with Nikki is a sure thing. She is so hot. Can’t believe my first time will be in her parent’s bed!”
Jordan stopped himself mid-pretzel. Eyes slowly widening he stared at Zach in disbelief.
“Your first time?!” Jordan bellowed. Dropping the bag of pretzels, he stood up and looked down at Zach who was still sitting.
“Dude, you just said it was your first time. What the hell does that mean?” he demanded
Zach grabbed a few more pretzels, stuffed them into his waiting mouth and bought a few extra moments of contemplation.
“Oh,” he said a minute later, “I meant the first time in a real bed. The first time in a big bed. The first time with Nikki. The first time…” his voice trailed off. Dusting the pretzel dust off of his fingers, he stood up to look Jordan in the eye.
“God, I can’t lie to you. We have been friends forever. Best friends.”
Zach ran his hand through his brown hair and fought to think of what to say next. Something that would make sense. Something that would not be humiliating. Something that Jordan wanted to hear. Unable to find the words he simply shrugged his shoulders and hoped that the silence spoke for him.
“Damnit Zach!” Jordan shouted, “What a liar you are. You have me thinking that there is something wrong with me because you and Carl and Drew are getting all the action and I am getting nothing but….nothing. Screw you, man! I would never do that to you.”
Throwing the bag of pretzels at Zach’s feet, Jordan walked through the parking lot shaking his head. He could not fathom his best friend lying to him about something so important. Stopping at the corner of the baseball diamond, he could hear Zach running up behind him.
“I know, Jordo” he started, “I know and I don’t know what to say. And the truth is that Carl is, well, like us, too. He told me about a month ago. I don’t know about the rest of the guys, honestly. And this thing with Nikki tonight, uh, I don’t even feel like going through with it. That’s the truth”.
Jordan struggled to wrap his mind around this conversation. He was angry that his best friend lied to him, but was also reassured to know that he was not so different from his friends. Except, of course, he never lied about who he was.
Across from the baseball diamond he could see Lauren stretching in preparation for cheerleading practice. Jordan looked at her and felt what could only be described as pure affection for his friend of so many years. He didn’t even care what happened between them, he just wanted to be near her. To talk to her. To see her smile. To feel her warmth and friendship and comfortable closeness.
“Lauren!” he shouted, “Wanna go to a movie tonight? Me and you. Just the two of us.” He didn’t care who heard and he didn’t care what they thought. He knew that being a virgin meant nothing if you were with the right person. And Lauren was that person.
“Hey, Jordan”, she smiled back at him, “sure, it’s a date! Text me after practice”.
She said it was a date and it was, but it was more than that. It was the beginning of a love that Jordan had not just imagined, but had watched his parents enjoy for 16 years. Now it was his turn.