Sometimes I think, if I’m going to leave you,

I need to do it soon

Before the baby is old enough to remember

Me gathering her clothes and books and toys

And driving through the night to Grandma and Grandpa’s

 

While we’ve still got separate checking accounts

While I’m still young

While I’ve got highways in my hands

 

You get home

There’s a frown carved in your face

I’ve heard this story: “Just work stuff”

A thousand times in a thousand days

I know you by heart

I forgive you

 

If I’m going to leave you

I need to make sure that, on the night I go

I don’t catch a glimpse of you sleeping:

One leg kicked out from beneath the bedding

The gentle rise of the sheets as you breathe,

The little spot on your pillow where you drool

 

Sometimes, I’m not in love with you

But I’ll never love anyone else more

---

ABOUT THE AUTHOR – Gabe Coeli lives in Portland, Oregon with his daughter, Livia. He spends his days writing, fighting, cooking, reading, loving and adventuring.