The prom is approaching, it’ll be held in May
A once-in-a-lifetime , super memorable day.
Will I dance ‘till I drop, sweat it up on the dance floor?
Will I do a few things I’ve never done before?
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Mom and Dad, they’re always telling me to
Avoid booze and sex, like it’s the right thing to do.
But I can’t believe my parents were once teens themselves.
Did they postpone getting drunk, put hormones on the shelves?
My parents have never been friends with guys like Darius and Kurt,
Bill, Jorge, Jenny, Tina, Maria and Bert.
My buddies already suspect I’m secretly lame
Because I never drink at parties, have no “scores” to my name.
I’ve told them about that one girl in soccer camp,
But they pried for details, so I lied and called her a tramp.
There was that other girl I met at my part-time job.
But she turned out to be an insufferable snob.
There have been other girls that I really thought cute.
And confessions of love that I found a hoot.
But there’s one girl I’ve pined for a number of years.
Only she’s never at parties, never having any beers.
She’s kind of a geek, she’s on student gov.
However, she seems popular in matters of love.
Although I know she gets dates, she simply doesn’t fit in
With all of my friends—she’s not all that thin.
It’s just that I’ve had few chances for talking
If I don’t want to get accused of stalking.
We don’t share classes, she never comes to my games,
So there’s little chance for me to fan the flames.
If I sought her out and my friends came to know,
They’d never let me live it down, they’d cackle like a crow.
No, it’s better to date girls like Naomi and Kate.
They’re hot and they’re popular and they’re the right weight.
But imagine my surprise when a few months before
The big dance arrived, she came knocking at my door.
She was fundraising for school, selling candy for the band.
She asked if I’d buy some and maybe lend a hand.
My tongue stuck in my mouth, I couldn’t speak.
My strong soccer legs suddenly felt weak.
I finally said I’d buy one and pulled out some cash.
I hoped that she wouldn’t notice my new arm rash.
She thanked me and went to hand me some change.
I told her to keep it—even thought I felt strange.
“The money’s for a good cause,” I heard myself say,
Even though I’d never cared about band before that day.
She laughed and I joined her, letting out a cackle.
It sounded weird and she jumped like I was about to tackle.
I ran my hand nervously down the back of my hair
And asked if she had other causes that made her care.
She told me all about Big Brothers, Big Sisters
She helped out with homework, made up tongue twisters.
She spoke of student council and cleaning up parks
And for a moment I felt hope for a few budding sparks.
But then I pictured myself picking up trash
Along busy highways, oh what a bash.
Parties were so much more fun and there was the fact
That if I followed her now, I could never look back.
I made up my mind, forced my heart to settle down
I opened my mouth, fought back a frown.
I told her it was nice seeing her, maybe we’d chat at school.
I did my best to act casual and appear totally cool.
She didn’t pick up on my cue, she seized the chance
And outright asked if I had a date for the big dance.
It was a few months early, I honestly hadn’t thought
I’d need to worry yet, get my tux rent or bought.
I waffled a moment, considered asking her out
Then thought of my friends and I filled with doubt.
I said I was going with Naomi, I lied to her face
Trying my best to make sure she knew her place.
The smile on her face faltered, she told me bye.
She walked down the sidewalk and I let out a sigh.
I guessed I had better ask Naomi before it was too late.
If she would join me as my totally cool senior prom date.
I couldn’t believe Naomi was already taken.
What was it with girls? I felt a bit shaken.
Prom was two months away, why settle this now?
I briefly mulled it over and wiped at my brow.
April came and went, it was already time
To prepare for the dance, that one night sublime.
Darius’ afterparty would have booze and birth control
The night was approaching, I would finally meet my goal.
Kate was easy, said Bill, but she shot me a glare
When I asked her to go; she was already part of a pair.
I even reached out to Maria, Jenny and Tina,
But they had dates and so they directed me to Mina.
She was from a different school, I’d never met her.
But Maria liked her style, said she knew how to purr.
“I’m getting laid,” I thought in my head.
That was what was important, but still I felt dread.
Mina and I texted and chatted on the net
Just a little beforehand, but still I broke out in sweat.
We didn’t have much to say, just sent out a pic
Of each other; I guess she was a pretty fine chick.
We didn’t actually meet until the day of the prom
We all met at Jenny’s for hors d’oeuvres made by her mom.
Mina was chatty, she said I looked hot.
I felt my tongue twist tightly into a knot.
I thought she was prettier in the pic she had sent me,
But I didn’t mention that because in the dark we would be
And it wouldn’t matter how she looked now in her dress
When our clothes were littering the ground in a big mess.
I sat pretty much in silence through the pre-party and dinner
And come the prom, I no longer felt like a winner.
Mina was annoying and soon she grew bored
Because I seemed too nervous; she could tell I’d never scored.
I didn’t know what was, in fact, worse:
Boring my date or seeing my crush arrive in a hearse.
She and her date and her friends stole the spotlight
With a funny ride and sparkly outfits both shiny and bright.
I watched from my post at the side of the room
As she danced, chatted and laughed and really did bloom.
Mina wanted to dance and I tried, I really did.
But I moved like a clod, so of me she did rid.
Mina floated from guy to guy for the rest of the night.
But I didn’t care even if it was done out of spite.
I wasn’t going to have sex, that much I knew.
But I didn’t even feel like hanging out with my usual crew.
My crush must have noticed because much later on,
I found her standing beside me, her date was gone.
“How are you liking the dance?” she shouted over the din.
I shrugged. I couldn’t be more embarrassed than I had already been.
“I think I’m ready to go home,” I replied rather tersely.
She looked at me as if I had addressed her perversely.
“Aren’t you going to an after party?” she asked, her head cocked.
I shook my head; she seemed rather shocked.
“You can come to my house,” she told me without pause.
I wasn’t sure what to say; I didn’t have cause.
“What about your date?” I asked, scanning the room for him.
“He’s just my friend,” she said. “We went together on a whim.”
My eyes fell on my friends, but they were too busy to see
Me standing here in the corner, so I decided to flee.
“Sure I’ll come,” I said, surprised at my answer.
“But before we go, you should see how I am as a dancer.”
I took her hands in mine and led her to the dance floor.
We rocked out to a fast song and I wanted even more.
She didn’t care that I was klutzy and that I had two left feet.
We just danced to our own private groove of a beat.
When I left the prom with Allie, I knew my friends would think
I’d lost my mind and I slowly turned pink.
But looking into the eyes of my longtime crush,
I no longer cared and I wouldn’t rush.
Perhaps her party wouldn’t have booty and wine,
But you know, with that, I was totally fine.
I had a lot of fun with Allie and her friends.
Besides, school was almost over and everything ends.
If my friends were really cool, they’d understand
I like a girl who plays flute in the high school band.