Girls didn’t make the first move. That was the rule and Kristina didn’t have the nerve to try to break it.
If she could just get up the courage. If she could just approach him as if it meant nothing. Maybe then she could be a dating rebel. She could casually invite him to have coffee with her. Okay, so she didn’t even like coffee, but that’s what people did on dates, right?
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Not that Kristina knew where to begin when it came to dating. She was sixteen and had long since decided that dating was something she’d wait to do in college. That changed when Jermaine transferred to her school last year. She’d found herself becoming a royal mess over him!
Every time Jermaine’s hand went up in class, her ears did the same. She perked up at the sound of his steady, soothing voice. He was always saying something new, something fresh. He wasn’t like the other boys she had known throughout school; he had soul. His words didn’t only come from his brain, but also from his heart.
It certainly didn’t hurt that he had big brown doe eyes and a perfect smile to match his amazing personality.
She had never cared about what she wore to class before Jermaine came to school, but now things were different. Her friend Mona had recently remarked that Kristina seemed like a new person—full of energy and smiles. She’d get up two hours before school started to begin her morning ritual, spending a full hour washing, brushing, drying, and curling her hair.
It was not as if Jermaine seemed like the type of boy who cared so much about how much makeup a girl wore, but she wanted so badly to impress him.
She was watching him out of the corner of her eye from down the hall as he absentmindedly put his books in his locker.
She wondered what he was thinking about. She hoped he was thinking about her.
Even though he didn’t know about her feelings and she didn’t know if he would ever return them, she still felt blessed to know someone who was good all-around.
As Kristina stared off into space, falling deep into a fantasy of her and Jermaine’s future lives together, Mona came up behind her.
She tapped Kristina on the shoulder and said, “Now, just what do you think you’re doing, Miss Lebinski?”
Kristina twirled around and nearly lost her balance in the meantime. Mona met her with a huge smile.
“Oh geez, Mona! Quit it with the teacher voice! I was in the middle of a good daydream, and you ruined it.” She laughed. “How are you going to make that up to me now, huh?”
Mona giggled. She turned Kristina back around to where she had been standing, and they both looked at Jermaine.
Mona said, “How about I ask him to the dance for you since I’m such a good friend?”
Kristina’s cheeks grew bright red. “Mona! Keep it down! What if someone hears you?”
“Oh, come on, Kristina. Since when did you become a baby about things like this? The girl who has given speeches in front of hundreds of people for school programs is afraid to ask a boy to a dance?”
Mona had a good point and she knew it. Kristina had given her fair share of speeches for tons of extracurricular activities. She had met the mayor of the city, dined with other motivated peers, and discussed community problems with the members of city council.
This was different though.
Yes, she got nervous when talking to hundreds of people but once she went on, she got into her groove. She’d forget where she was at or how many people were in front of her, and the words would take her away.
When she thought about asking Jermaine to the dance, her palms would get all sweaty and she would tense up. Usually, she felt like she had witty and funny things to say, but when he was around, she couldn’t think of anything to talk about. Even when it came to subjects she’d studied for a long time, she would go love struck and not be able to show him what kind of person she was.
There were so many things she wanted and needed to say to him but the most she could get out was a “Hi” or “What’s up?”
Kristina hung her head.
Mona hugged her. “I’m sorry, Krissy. You really like him, don’t you?”
Kristina nodded, glum.
“Well then… what are you going to do about it?”
Kristina hugged Mona back. “I don’t know. I’ve never felt like this before. He’s all I think about before I fall asleep at night. He’s the first thing I think about when I wake up. I can talk to him fine in class during groups, but as soon as he talks to me otherwise? Nope! Can’t do it!”
Kristina sighed and leaned against the wall of lockers.
“Mona,” she said, “what do I do?”
Kristina caught Mona sizing her up, judging her like she would someone trying out for one of her plays. Finally, Mona said, “You know what? Be at my place this Friday at nine. Dress cute.”
Without another word, Mona walked away.
Kristina stood bewildered. What was her friend was up to?
She trusted Mona, but she was too good at scheming. Once Mona got a thought in her head, she didn’t let it go.
When the two were in ninth grade, Kristina had wanted to sign up for tap dance class but had no confidence in herself. Mona, sneaky little thing, signed her up without telling her. It wasn’t until the dance teacher Ms. Lawson approached Kristina the next day—to tell her how glad she was that she had signed up—that Kristina even knew! She was glad though, because the teacher told her the class had been having problems getting enough students interested. Before Mona signed Kristina up, the class had been at risk of losing funding.
What’s more, Kristina was a wonderful dancer once she got the hang of it. She wouldn’t have ever known that if Mona hadn’t pushed her to take the class like she wanted.
Kristina sighed in frustration . She was being such a baby about asking Jermaine out.
She thought to herself, “Why can’t he just ask me out? If he liked me, then he would have already, wouldn’t he?”
Kristina spent the next week asking herself this question, unable to answer it. Friday came, and the nervousness welled up in her stomach and throat.
She stared at herself in the mirror, her long brown locks curled and falling all around her face.
“I clean up ok,” she thought to herself, examining the imperfections of her skin but telling herself not to obsess over them. Overall, she thought she looked pretty. She slipped into a cute black dress, just the perfect length, the hemline stopping right at her knee.
Nerd girl extraordinaire on the fast track to becoming the next U.S. diplomat… and she was afraid of talking to a boy? Granted, this boy was both handsome and kind… but still, just a boy!
When Kristina arrived at Mona’s house, neither her nor her parents’ cars were in the driveway.
“That’s… unsettling.”
She walked to the front door and hesitated when she noted an unfamiliar yellow sports car where the family SUV usually parked.
She stopped at the door, swallowed the stubborn lump in her throat, and finally knocked.
The door opened.
Kristina nearly bit her own tongue when she recognized the dark figure standing there. She should have guessed Mona’s plan. It was Jermaine, of course.
She giggled nervously, wondering how the hell Mona had been able to trick her so easily. She’d figured Mona would take her to meet Jermaine somewhere or at least be at her house when she got there. No such luck.
Jermaine looked at Kristina, blinking hard. Luckily, he seemed as confused as she was.
He said, “Uh, hi. Where’s… Mona?”
“You got me, buddy.”
Buddy? Kristina nearly groaned. She sounded way too casual.
She covered with, “If Mona’s not here, how’d you get inside?”
“She said she forgot to pick you up. Then she ran out the door, said she’d be back soon.”
The jittery butterflies in Kristina’s stomach became more violent as she realized what Mona had done.
Her best friend certainly would not be coming back soon. She had left them there… together… alone.
This was one of the most awkward situations Kristina had ever been in, but instead of freezing up, she did the opposite.
It was like the feeling she got before speeches—how she’d panic beforehand but once she started talking, the queasiness went away. The thought of saying a few words to Jermaine had freaked her out before. Now that they’d already been talking, it seemed like smooth sailing! Ah, the power of shared confusion.
Kristina giggled quietly at what Mona had set up and made a mental note to tell her friend how brilliant she was.
“Well, I guess we can both wait for her inside,” Kristina said with a confidence that appeared out of nowhere.
Jermaine nodded and opened the door for her to follow him.
The two of them sat down on the love seat in Mona’s living room and talked for a while.
They talked about the world, their families, and their shared interests. When Kristina joked, Jermaine laughed.
Everything was going better than she could have hoped for, until the topic moved on to why Mona had invited them there.
The fluttery butterflies tried to force their way back into her stomach, but Kristina knew she had to say something.
“Jermaine,” she said, “I know it’s been two hours. And Mona still hasn’t come back.”
“Yeah, you think she’s okay? Maybe we should call someone.”
“No, she’s fine.” Kristina sighed. Time to bite the bullet. “I know why she left us here alone. But I am really enjoying this conversation and I, uh, I don’t want to make you uncomfortable.”
Jermaine glanced sideways at her. “Why would I be uncomfortable?”
Kristina held her breath.
She could do it. She knew she had the nerve or the courage inside of her after their conversation. Jermaine was even nicer than she’d expected. He seemed to be comfortable around her. So why wait?
“Jermaine,” Kristine said, the breath rushing out of her, “I really, really like you. I like you as a friend. But I… like you more than that.”
She felt like she might pass out, but also like a weight had been lifted. God, how good it felt to finally say all that!
But when Jermaine laughed, Kristina’s heart dropped.
Jermaine saw the disappointed look in her eyes. “Oh, no! It’s not like that. I’m not laughing at you, Kristina! I… like you, too.”
If Kristina had been drinking anything, she would’ve spit it everywhere.
“You do? Really?”
“Really,” he said, grinning. “I’ve been trying to get up the courage to talk to you. But I choke on my tongue each time. Mona noticed me looking at you and told me she’d help me out. I came here expecting to get pointers, that’s all. I didn’t think you’d actually be here.”
Kristina could no longer contain her excitement. She leaned in and hugged Jermaine.
“I’m really glad she put us together like this.”
“So am I,” he said, nestled in her hair.
Kristina leaned back. She smiled. “So, if you like me. And I like you. What do you say you go to the dance with me?”
Jermaine’s eyes lit up. “I’d love to.”
Kristina hugged him tighter. Who said girls couldn’t make the first move?