Delivery Man

Vince Vaughn is getting a little long in the tooth for this stuff. An actor that’s always up to playing the game at hand, Vaughn here plays David Wozniak/Starbuck, a man who unwittingly fathers some 500 children. How, you may ask? Through many, many sperm donations—David, you see, is a little bit of a schlub, hence the casting of Vaughn, who has gotten schlubbier (and schlubbier) with the years. While he has the best intentions, the film barely manages to get past its clunky plot before cramming us with the prerequisite cheesy family moments. (Cue the ‘Family comes in all shapes and sizes!’ sequence).


Certain vignettes involving his children, all in that YA place of trying to establish themselves in the world for the first time, are charming, but none truly grab at you as the main thread or message of the film. That is one of the two main elements working against Delivery Man: each storyline here seems secondary to all the others, with no real front-runner coming to the fore to give us that old Hollywood indication of, ‘this is where you care.’ The other, even larger hurdle? It’s unclear why any of these people (his 533 invariably gorgeous children, his family, and especially his equally gorgeous and pregnant quasi-girlfriend, played by Cobie Smulders) would give Vaughn a chance in hell in the first place.


On the brighter side, enjoy Parks & Recreations’ goofy Chris Pratt as best buddy Brett, and The Secret Circle’s Britt Robertson as one of David’s more troubled offspring.